I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
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I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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