Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
