I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize