yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
