i just wanna soil my oats bro
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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