i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
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I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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