I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize