OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
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She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
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I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.