from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped