Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That's how pantless uber rides happen