Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.