I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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