My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize