yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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