he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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