i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
