Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're a waste of cheezeits
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
