I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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