he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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