Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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