I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
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The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts