for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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