I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
