We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize