your parents love me but you hate me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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