i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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