Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize