hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
