Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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