Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
