this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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