Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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