you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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