I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i came on her dog
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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