Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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