i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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