actually, I'm a sock model
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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