After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.