Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
