I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.