i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐