Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He passed out mid-signature
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts