After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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