she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
