dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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