I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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