saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize