Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
