Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
