I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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