Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
