he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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