we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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