God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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