She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize